DORNE: Rated 18
"Under 18? THEN F*CK RIGHT OFF!" DORNE: Rated 18 ''was a series of short shows in an episode format. There were twelve episodes in all. Episode List & Plot Summaries Dorne In The Restaurant The pilot episode. Dorne sits down to dinner in a restaurant, but is disgusted when the waiter brings her some bread ("Bread? In-bread, more like!") ''as she is on a diet. She then goes into the kitchen to confront the chef, and discovers that the chef is none other than Gordon Ramsay. After a brief argument, Dorne beats him to death with her own speech bubble. Eagle-eyed viewers will spot Graham Pettinger as the waiter. Many of the early episodes featured characters from the Comedy Crap series as extras. Dorne On The Plane For a reason that is never explained, Dorne is on a plane, and needs the toilet. She enters the cubicle, and complains loudly about the many shortfalls of aeroplane toilet facilities. When she exits, she has doubts about the pilot's ability to fly the plane competently, and decides to take over. When she does this, the plan begins fall apart in mid air (first the wings, then the tail, the fuselage and finally the passenger compartment. Dorne falls to earth in the cockpit and get out unscathed, her only concern "getting out of here before any bastards notice." Cletus Shackler appears in the queue for the toilet. Dorne In Subway Stores The shortest episode so far, Dorne goes to Subway and attempts to order a sandwich. The youth behind the counter names a list of innoportune foods the Dorne is opposed to (bread, for instance, followed by lettuce, and finally fish.) When he says fish, Dorne performs a backward flip, kicking off the youth's head in the process. Dorne Inadvertently Enters The X-Factor Dorne is wandering around a building (we are never told why) when she enters a room. Simon Cowell asks what she'll be singing, and Dorne responds with "F*ck! This isn't the toilet!". However, she then sings 'London Underground' by the Amateur Transplants, which, according to Cowell was the "worst thing he'd ever heard." Dorne responds to this by punching his head off and taking his place on the panel. We are then treated to seeing what she said to the next 7 or 8 contestants (mainly some variation of the word "shit"). Dorne In Parliament In another short episode, Dorne finds herself on the bench in Parliament. She begins to scream random obsceneties, after which she immediately accuses the two unfortunate men on either side of her of making the noise. Dorne falls silent for a moment, before demanding whether the two men have been "playing kiss catching". The shifty looks they exchange suggest that they have. Dorne And The Gang War In one of the longest episodes, a new man on the block, Richard Sole, has been rallying chavs for some unknown cause, and ruling Wath with an iron fist. This causes Dorne to take drastic action, mainly assembling a crack team of people to bring down this corrupt regime. After a brief introduction of the combatants (normal and chav alike) the battle commences. Once the fight begins, it is obvious that Sole's minions are no match for Dorne's team, who quickly defeat their enemies. As Sole sees that his regime is falling apart around his ears, he produces a compact submachine gun from his pocket. However, just before this happens, Dorne breaks a smashball, which gives her god-like powers. She then blasts away Sole's head (and most of his shoulders) with the Bolt Action Pistol (this is it's first usage). Sole's death resolved the issue. Dorne And The Car Vandals Perhaps the longest episode. Dorne's car is stolen by a group of chavs (including a rejuvenated Darren Solid, with a line of stitches across his stomach). Dorne becomes furious, which makes her even more dangerous and provokable. Meanwhile, Victor Adams is causing havoc in the Citroën C4 TANK. He nearly runs over Dorne, and stops to ask her why she looks so angry. She explains her predicament to him, and he offers his help in tracking down the theives. Dorne accepts, but announces that they have to round up the other members of the Solid 6, excluding Andrews, who had "work commitments". Graham announces that his "sources" report that the car is somewhere in Shitethorpe, which Victor describes as a "rough place". When the team arrives at the town, an egg hits the TANK. Dorne orders the team out, and then the battle begins. After another team introduction,